Thursday, January 27, 2011

Pondering Wheat and Tares

Drop me off here, on the ashen asphalt, I am feeling just fine,
propped up between two cars, just like uncle's cobwebbed wooden crucifix,
benignly watching over the dusty floor of
somewhere I forgot to remember, to forget about
because I'm feeling just fine and this old conscience of mine,
rusty and sharp, has been smoothed abit, but it still bites.
So come here. Yes, really, I'm feeling fine.
Help me forget that I care.

I have a very strong conscience, and sometimes I wish it would shut up, sometimes it would be easier to be amoral or just have a more lax conscience, but I cant escape from it. It is part of me, for better or worse, as are many other things that I was taught since birth. Sometimes it feels as if our breeding is inescapable, I am molded, set.

Other times I am thankful for it, I am thankful that I really do care about people and ideas and places and things. I am glad that I have some ideals, but it is crushing to realize the reality of the world: the realization that no matter what you do or try to do, the situation is only going to get worse. I am thinking of the economic, military, and political situation of the US. We are screwed no matter what because the system and situation is just too entrenched and complicated to be worked out.

So I just sit here with my headphones on, read the news, shake my head, and just enjoy the music.

gnight yall

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